Oh beautiful Mama’s and Daddy’s – I have been exactly where you are with your children and I know how your heart hurts for your child when they are struggling! There is nothing quite like the heartache and frustration of being a parent without a magic wand! I want to remind you though, that we have a Father who knows all, sees all, can mend all and has a definitive plan for you and for your children!
His love is infinite, His presence everywhere and He is our Father, the one who hurts for us as we hurt for our children!
I know as a mother of three that you just want to stop them from hurting, you want to guide them so that your mistakes will not be their mistakes, you want to smooth every bump in their journey of life. I will tell you honestly that this was me…… for a long time. As my children struggled and faced personal challenges that were out of my control, I turned to Pastor Wilma Kelder, our Women’s Pastor at our community church. I poured my heart and worries out to her and asked her for prayers for my children to have a smooth journey with no hurts. Her response stunned me and challenged me to be to not only be a better parent, but a better daughter of Christ!
She asked me when I learned my lessons in life, you know the all important life changing ones. She also asked when my faith was built and strengthened on my own journey. I thought on this and sheepishly answered “In dark times, ugly times, times when I fell flat on my face. That’s when my lessons were learned and that’s where a spark of faith became a passion for God and a relationship.” She then doubled down so to speak, and asked me why I was potentially standing in the way of my children’s personal growth and learning, and in the way of their own faith explosion. My head must’ve spun around at least three times before the tears fell because I knew what she was saying was truth that came from love. She told me that as much as I loved the Lord and trusted Him, I needed to let go and FULLY trust Him. That He loves my children even more than I do, and that while I worry and hurt, He prepares them and guides them to their destination in fulfilling His great plan for them.
This made me step back and let me assure you these were difficult days that followed as my faith battled with my mothers love and control. I really had to pray and immerse myself in the word. I got angry, then I got sad, then I got ashamed and then I kept going around and around on the same cycle. Eventually I was able to “let go and let God” in terms of my children. I swear this was such a test of my faith and such a real struggle for me! This was likely one of the most heart wrenching personal parenting struggles I have ever in 25 years experienced. In addition – I struggled with faith. How could I trust God supposedly 100% yet NOT trust Him with my children the way I trusted Him with myself?
My children by the way, all flourished under my “giving to God” practice. They are all successful and amazing adults now that I could not possibly love more or be more proud of! As a parent I know that there is nothing more heart wrenching than the pain of one of your children or the helplessness of not being able to fix every problem and mend every boo boo.
I will testify that God really does love them more than we do and has for longer. He dreamed of them, created them, breathed life and being into them as He placed them in our wombs and then in our arms. He has a plan for them, knows their mistakes before they make them, loves them endlessly through them, and knows their life plan and final destination before they are even a thought in our minds.
Here are some of my fave verses to fall back on when I struggle with my “mamas control and fix it attitude” – yes I am still clay being molded (Isaiah 64:8)!
I hope these verses will bless you as they have me and bring you hope, comfort and love.
- He is the One who knows you and knit you together (Psalms 139:13-14).
- He is the One who knows the plan for your your life, every up and down and your end destination (Jeremiah 29:11).
- He is the One who can heal your heart when it is broken (Psalms 147:3).
- He is the One who can encourage, guide, and protect you (Psalms 121:7-8).
- He is the One who can make you feel safe when others fail you (Psalms 27:10).
- He is the One who can make you feel valued no matter what you can or cannot do (Matthew 10:29–31).
- He is the One who has reserved a place in His Father’s home for you (John 14:2).
- He is the One who will strengthen you and uphold you in dark times (Isaiah 41:10).
- He is the One who is your light and your fortress and protects you (Psalms 27:1).
- He is the One who you can always count on (Matthew 10:21-22).
We know that the more we get to know You Father, the more we know Your word, the more we see that You are the only ONE who can meet our deepest needs and heal our deepest hurts. I pray for each Mother and Father that this touches in any way, to be moved by Your Divine and Holy Spirit. To be refreshed and renewed and to hold on strong to your eternal love and hope, and mostly to your promises that we know through your Word. I raise up to you especially any whose children are struggling. Lord I pray for healing of each mother and father’s heart as they bear witness to the hurt of their children. I pray for You to shower them in the wisdom of Your perfect words to use for their sons and daughters hurts Lord, and for Your perfect timing so that Your love and wisdom and healing will pour out from them and wrap their sons and daughters in healing, love and the joy of YOU Lord. Please Lord place an everlasting peace in the heart of each parent who this touches, so they know without doubt that Your love as our Father extends not only to them, but to their children as well. Lord I ask that trust in Your great wisdom and timing and perfect plan lodges itself deep in their hearts. That they live with the peace and knowledge that Your Fatherly love is enough, not only for themselves but for their children. I ask this all in the name of your precious Son Jesus Christ.
Blessings to you all,